The energy theme for this upcoming week (Oct 2-7) according to the stars, is “The Well” all about depth and replenishing from hexagram 48 in the I’Ching.
If you feel inadequate in your relationships… hang in there… you may be standing in the shallows rather than plumbing the depths and resources available.
When you’re in the shallows of a relationship… either at the beginning or at a difficult juncture, you may feel inadequate because you’re in the unknown and the new. At times you may feel unsteady and in need of more resources, depth and understanding. Not knowing how to navigate or not knowing what’s next, can be scary. And that fear can stop you from venturing forth into the unknown. It can keep you stuck in the shallows, rather than going deeper.
Feeling inadequate doesn’t have to be threatening… it just means you’ve got something else to find out… about yourself… about the other!
There’s a belief in our society that you should be an expert before you begin. And that puts a lot of pressure on you even in the area of relationships. You should know how to be a good lover, how to listen, how to be supportive, how to speak your truth, how to ask for what you really want, etc. But for most of us, we learn this over time, through the very act of relating… through trial and error. Most of us don’t start out as experts or know what we’re doing in the relationship department!
In fact, not knowing allows you to ask questions, to dive into the depths and let your relationship show you how to give and receive love in practical ways. You don’t have to be an expert nor do you need to know the end before you begin something new. You just have to be open and patient for your next step to show itself to you.
Once you become more vulnerable and share yourself with your partner and they receive you, your cups start to fill up. Your relationship can become a rich resource for one another. As your relationship matures and deepens, you can gain wisdom, depth and nourishment from the well of the relationship. When conflicts arise, in this deeper stage, you can meet them full on with the resources of caring, attention and a good dose of humour, rather than running away as you might have done when you were swimming in the shallows.
Where are you standing in the well of your relationship? Are you “big toe in?” Up to your ankles? Up to your knees? All in? Are you willing to jump into the unknown, plumb the depths and trust that life will show you the next step?