She Had Me At Vulva

by | Jan 13, 2016 | Health & Well Being | 2 comments

Got Crow’s feet? Camel toe? Muffin tops? Cougar spots?
Have you ever heard of or used any of these terms to describe your body? What do those short phrases conjure up in your mind’s eye? Even more, what do they create energetically with your body?  For example, the first time I had “camel toe” explained to me was a revelation, to be sure. Yeah, I was cool, I heard that phrase now and then, but never thought about it much. Until the
Prancercise video came out on Youtube. I watched the video a few times and enjoyed a few laughs with friends. And then it became known as the video with the crazy lady with camel toe.

My crass introduction to cameltoe.

In my head, I’m saying to myself, “Aww, don’t give her such a hard time . . . she can’t help it if she’s kinda goofy AND has  foot fungus. Make fun of the silly dance moves, but her fungus problem? That’s a bit personal.” Getting that I was missing something, I asked, “What IS camel toe anyway?”  My friends said “It’s not foot fungus . . . look at her body.

I looked at her feet. They said, ”look higher.” OHHHHHH. And as my view crept up her legs THAT’s when I saw what everybody was talking about. One single camel toe at her CROTCH. I reacted as expected, with shock, horror and laughter. AND my body also picked up the judgment we were projecting at her body. I started to wonder . . . do I have camel toe when I wear leggings? If so, I better check in the mirror and hide it if I do. What energy did my body receive? Shame. Shame of bodies and in this case, shame of my vulva. Yes. I just said vulva.

When did you decide that your body was hideous and you had to hide it or parts of it from the world?

Some of you might be thinking to yourself, “She had me at vulva,” and yet we are moving on. Quite a few years back, I started hearing about “muffin tops.” The 55+ women in my Nia dance classes were all talking about them as if they were a bad thing.  According to me, muffin tops were the best part of the muffin. I LOVED muffin tops! Then, of course, I got that they were NOT describing actual muffins. They were talking about “love handles,” which is the belly flab hanging over your belt, for those of you who might need it explained, like I did.

Again, it was funny for a moment and then not so funny. My body picked up the fact that more beautiful women were finding another way to judge their bodies. And hiding the judgment in a joke.

And just when I thought I’d heard enough . . .

I turned on the car radio and heard a male comedian talking about cougar spots. “You know, those freckles all over a woman’s neck and chest that let you know they’re over 50?” 

He was giving men clues to determine whether the woman they were going to bang was young (worth it) or not. The meta message underneath his rant about “cougar spots” was again based in hate, shame and judgment of bodies.

I’m writing this blog to increase awareness of the judgment of bodies that I didn’t want to be aware of.  I didn’t want to know the fierceness and hatred and shame of bodies that’s an insidious and destructive force on our planet. I didn’t wish to perceive the damaging effects on my own body from years of judging and hiding what I decided were the “bad” parts. The good news is that YOU can stop it. I can stop it. And WE can change it!

One thing I know is that gratitude trumps judgment every time.

Can we stop perpetuating these funny yet shaming messages of bodies? How would our world be like if we stopped? Imagine if muffin tops, cameltoe, and cougar spots were no different than blue eyes or brown? Name one aspect of your body you’re  grateful for. Yes, even THAT! Even if it’s not “perfect” by this society’s standards. Choosing to be grateful for your body is a beginning. When you’re being grateful, is judgment relevant or even present?

If you didn’t judge your body and you were grateful for it, how else could your body show up?

Are you ready to END the hatred and judgment of bodies? Have you tried before yet kept slipping into OLD PATTERNS? This hatred, disconnect and judgment of bodies has got to stop if you are to have peace in your life and with your body. 

We’ve got your back (and thighs and muffin top). Reach out and we’ll show you how to find the love. 

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Marguerite VanderSloot
Marguerite VanderSloot
1 year ago

Wow, so potent! I guess I lead a sheltered life, as most of those judgments were non existent for me. As I remember my exercise classes, I recall those judgments, those energies flowing in the group.

Margaret Maxine Corrington
Margaret Maxine Corrington
2 years ago

Good article with a powerful message.