The Shame Of Doubt

Have you ever felt ashamed for not knowing something you thought you should have known? Or felt doubtful about your own abilities, sense of self or direction in life? Conversely, have you ever felt amazing and relieved when you (finally) came to certainty?

I was talking with a human design client the other day and she was exclaiming how great it felt to have a deeper understanding of herself and how this depth of understanding gave her a feeling of relief and confirmation. This kind of certainty feels so good… it’s like a rush, a climax when you finally get to certainty! We all long for this sense of relief and knowing something “for sure.”

And yet, when you’ve finally achieved certainty, what is the energy of that? Is there movement in certainty? Can anyone else tell you anything when you are certain? Is there any room for something different other than what you’re certain of? Not so much.

Oprah used to have a column in her magazine entitled, “What I know for sure.” It was always the page I read first because I was intrigued by what Oprah knew for sure. If she knew stuff for sure, what did I know… for sure? I’d think through my life and I often came up with nothing that I knew FOR SURE, except that I knew how to brush my teeth, and chances were that the sun would “set” in the evening, but even that… I wasn’t 100% certain… which made me feel bad about myself.

Shame is a near companion to doubt. Why can’t I be certain the way other people are certain? When doubt and shame weave together in this way, judgement is close at hand. But there’s another way to look at doubt that is healthy and free of shame and judgement. It’s akin to wonder. Indeed, in its healthy form, doubt can be a catalyst for change. Here’s what I’m talking about…

This week’s energy theme, based in Human Design and hexagram 63 , is called, After Completion, Doubt. It’s about what happens when we reach the pinnacle of success, good fortune or even certainty… and then what? The Chinese sages always cautioned the people to not stay satisfied/certain for too long after success, but to question what comes next and to be as prepared as possible for the beginning of the next cycle.

Could you be grateful that you don’t know everything, that you doubt yourself at times or that you doubt others? Doubt, in its healthy sense, is another word for “question.” Question yourself, question your ideas, question others, question authority. Questions are a way you can discover something new and different about yourself and the world. If you’re certain, there’s nothing new that can begin… unless you doubt, or question or wonder or contemplate.

What if doubt is a key to beginning your next phase? Are you heading into a new cycle or phase in your life, career or relationship? What if doubt is a doorway through which you can walk into a new possibility?

We wonder,
Juna & Sabine