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Relationship Trap #84 – Turning Potential Into Shoulds

by | Mar 24, 2024 | Energy Forecast, Podcast, Relationships | 3 comments

Did you ever have a relationship with someone and it didn’t work out well because you were in a relationship with their potential and not them?

Perhaps you stayed longer just to see their potential come to fruition, but as time dragged on, they never really lived the greatness you saw in them. Perhaps you realized that while their potential was palpable, it wasn’t enough to keep you two together. You wanted to experience their gifts in action. Or are you still waiting?

Seeing potential in someone, while it’s a beautiful thing, can also be a relationship trap. Your projections and expectations of them may or may not be true… or you might very well be aware of their potential gifts… BUT also be attached to those gifts and potentials showing up in a particular way that may or may not ever happen.

In short, just because someone could be/do something amazing, doesn’t mean they should or would be/do it! Are you willing to see the potential and not be attached to how it shows up… if ever?

You can apply this to just about any relationship you’re in. Whether it’s with your parents, your siblings, your partner, your close friends, your kids, your co-workers, you likely have opinions about who the other person is and what they could or should do, based on your assessment of them.

This week’s energy theme is about opinions and how when you have opinions about someone else or yourself, for that matter, those opinions have to be tested or validated.
An opinion isn’t based in fact; it’s based on a point of view or a judgement. And any opinion you hold needs to stand the test of time or be validated on some level as to the truthfulness of it.

So for this week’s contemplation, take note of one person in your life that you see great potential in and they’re not living it… according to you. Remind yourself that this is just your opinion and it may or may not be true. Are you willing to drop your expectations and attachments to how their potential shows up or not? Are you willing to notice what else they’re good at that you haven’t been able to see because you’re only seeing what they are NOT being?

Next, if you dare, take a look at yourself. What are some opinions you hold of yourself regarding your potential that you’re not living?

Just like with that other person, remind yourself that this is just an opinion and may or may not be true. Are you willing to drop your expectations and attachment to how your potential shows up or not? Are you willing to notice what else you’re good at that you haven’t been able to see because you’re only seeing what you are NOT being?

Phew! Living true to yourself in relationships is intense!

We hope that you take some time to journal about or contemplate the opinions you hold about someone else’s potential and own that you may have consciously or unconsciously pressured them into living it out according to your own projected hopes and dreams for them and you.

Set them free and set yourself free by holding a loving space for them to live out their gifts in their own time and their own way.

Walking the “live true to you” journey with you,

Juna & Sabine

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Penn
Penn
3 months ago

Those healing hands open up like a lotus, creating space as you talk! xoxo

Kim
Kim
3 months ago

What a great discussion! I can see where I have done this with others my whole life – not such a great thing to project my expectations on them.